Two Cents Tuesday: fish balls, hanging balls & bull penis

Oct 10

Oct 10 Two Cents Tuesday: fish balls, hanging balls & bull penis

Hola from Asia! (Pretty sure I’m never going to stop speaking Spanglish…)

I was MIA most of Europe, mainly because it was the busiest and craziest three months I’ve ever lived, but also because everyone knows how Europe goes; you can get to literally any country on the CONTINENT by way of a cheap, short bus/train/plane/boat ride. So, naturally, I road tripped to Germany from Prague, stopped over in Croatia on the way to Serbia, then took my month in Spain to see a few of its most beautiful spots: Ibiza, Madrid, Barcelona, and San Sebastian. Oh yeah, then took an overnight trip to London to see Justice and eat fish+chips before jetting off to Asia. Yes, I know I sound like a pompous asshole, but don’t be too jealous since all the bread, wine and cheese has put more than a little strain on the waistline (ok, a LOT). I also learned a lot about geography since I had to google where I was on a world map every other day. I digress.

We landed in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia last Sunday afternoon, where we are now exactly 12 hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time and all you peeps back in NC. That means Monday night football is at 8:30AM Tuesday morning (LOL).

One week in Asia and I’ve done two street food tours, tried Malaysian breakfast, drank bubble tea, choked down durian fruit, watched OTHER people eat bull penis (plus lung, stomach, and fermented durian-covered durian), gotten a really intense foot massage, a 3 hour full-body massage, a Shirodhara Ayurvedic oil drip massage (do you see a trend here?), popped over to Thailand, road tripped through Thai Islands, seen a monkey on a leash, watched 7 episodes of West World, sweat through all my clothes within a record 10 minutes of being outside, ate spicy foods for breakfast lunch and dinner, significantly increased my spice tolerance (bring me all the chili sauce), and managed to not get food poisoning.

Food is 100% the theme of KL, because when you have Chinese, Malaysian and Indian influence all wrapped into one country’s culture, you’re going to be eating constantly.

Yesterday’s menu:

Breakfast: Roti with dhal and curry

Lunch: Spicy pan mee noodles with fish balls

Dessert: Matcha tea, cheese tarts and moon cakes

Dinner: Mystery dish with two runny eggs donning the name “hanging balls”

When I say food is a theme here, I mean your average person eats roughly 7 times a day. Thank god I like the cuisine. But I also had a friend mule me back some Cheez-its from the States, because…Cheez-its.

Tomorrow we get to hike through the smallest rainforest in the world (which, not-so-ironically, is off a main road next to our apartments), in the afternoon I volunteer at a local soup kitchen, and Saturday I go zip-lining for the first time! I cannot wait to see what the rest of this month and year will bring. So far, so good Asia.

My two cents:

1. If you’re going to travel for a year, start with a mostly empty suitcase and shop your way through the world. I have now completely gutted and replaced my entire wardrobe (even my tennis shoes).

2. Try ALL THE THINGS. Snails, tentacles, bubble tea, “hanging balls.” Okay, maybe not the penis.

3. Thai massages will hurt you. Just watch the people screaming in agony as the masseuse stands on a chair for leverage, pulls their arms back and cracks their neck.

4. Working until 1am isn’t so bad after all…more time for midnight snacks!!

5. Appreciate where you are. And I don’t just mean geographically.